Based off my theory that even the worst film must have some form of merit I started scanning Netflix for a few films and then wrote mini-reviews. I’ll be only sharing three reviews here as this is a big project and one film I recently saw shot my theory dead in the water. Still these three films have reviews written for them on a small sheet of paper, so I thought’d I share them. These are three that actually had merit enough to get a Netflix or whatever you have viewing. Be aware that one of those merits I expect in bad bad movies is good good nudity. So sit back and read and then watch!
MIRACLE BEACH: Full of Gratuitous nudity from random girls, it’s disappointing that the hottest girl in the film, Ami Dolenz is only in a bathing suit. The plot is funny though and the camp is turned to 11. Throw in Pat Morita, Martin Mull and an Alexis Arquette back when she looked & acted just like brother David and you get a good fantasy romantic 80’s comedy. Dean Cameron is also fantastic as he always is.
VALET GIRLS: The nudity factor was pretty non-eixtant which was a disappointment as the two female stars were super fine. Yet this was actually a really good comedy. The premise is clear, there are great characters, performances and awesome synth pop rock music.
Highlights includes popular dwarf actor Tony Cox as music manager, Kenny Sacha (a very popular female impersonator, mostly of Bette Midler, who passed away in 92 from complications of AIDS) as the super annoying and over pushy screen writer and a wordless, but unmistable Ron Jeremy as a regular guest at the parties.
CRASH COURSE: This Made for TV 80’s film has some atrocious writing, impossible plots and super stereotypical characters, yet it is super fun. From B.D. Wong’s rapping to teenage Alyssa Milano in a leotard there’s just enough here to stick with it. Plus Jackée Harry is actually hawt in this.
You just HAVE to see the B.D. Wong rapping though! Alyssa Milano really gets into it too. Here’s my filmed from a TV video!