ALF:
From the Planet Melmac came Gordon Shumway, furry, short, naked and lover of cats everywhere. He crashed into the household of The Tanners and proceeded to become the "Uncle" who would never leave. ALF was a musician, a pilot, a jokester, a talk show host, the best friend of a mentally retarded kid and the secret lover of a young teenage girl. ALF was in reality a puppet voiced by producer/creator Paul Fusco that sent writer Jerry Stahl into a downward spiral of drugs and depression, and yes, in that order which became the inspiration for the film "Permanent Midnight" which was originally a brilliant memoir. In 1996, ALF's series finale was finally answered with Project: ALF a telemovie where he is rescued from a military base and returned to "general population". It would be another few years of course before he became a commercial spokesman and possibly soon talk show host.

CHARLES IN CHARGE:
When Charles Arcola and Joanie Cunningham could no longer work as a couple, getting divorced almost immediately as soon as they got married he picked up his bags and moved to New Brunswick to pose as a 19 year old at college and be a live-in baby sitter to children too old to have a male nanny, along the way he picked up a new girlfriend and a new best friend whom he had met 2 years before while at semester in alternate universe High School where he went under an assumed name and gained super powers. A year after moving into the house a new family which included two very hot young girls (one who was a slut, eventually got implants and worked on a beach with Michael Knight) who Charles had inner battle to not seduce and try to be a good role model and teacher replaced the first family. . Shortly after the new family arrived, so did Charles' mother. Mrs. Arcola moved to town under the assumed name of Lillian, bought the local pizza parlor, turned into a Nostalgia diner and became a thorn in everyone's side.

FAMILY TIES: Who doesn't love Scott Valentine's Nick? An artist, an idiot, a rounded out personality and the starter of fashion trends that NEVER picked up. Do you know anyone who wore big purple belts and leather bomber jackets? I don't. That doesn't matter though. If it wasn't for Nick, this show would of died around season 4. It would of then died even quicker if it wasn't for Andy coming around. What's a quick way to bring things around? Turn a newborn into a toddler in a six month span and never say one word about. Then proceed to devote quite a few episodes to him, including one where he won't talk because he's become friends with a mute. Yes, this show was just classic brilliance.

Dropping the sarcasm quickly though, "My Name is Alex..." the two parter where Alex's friend who well, okay the fact that we've never really seen much of him before this was messed up, I think the point was not a character's death, but Alex's discovery. It changed the show a lot, every snide remark made from then on was just Alex being Alex, not Alex being a jerk. Alex P. Keaton holds a special place in my heart, for a republican banker. He made mistakes, went on detours, but his path always stayed clear and he eventually made it... to probably become that guy in "Bright Lights, Big City" but still...he made it. It could of been worse, he could of been Marty McFly... that guy was an idiot. Oh... wait... nevermind.

FULL HOUSE:
Two humorless, but successful stand-up comedians and the former 70's-early 80's touring drummer of The Beach Boys were teamed up in a house to raise the sister of Kirk Cameron, an extremely annoying girl, and two twins who would become two of the richest people in Entertainment. This show ran way, way, way, way too long, from 1987 all the way to 1995. Four girls had to grow up alongside Bob Saget and Dave Coulier; I really wonder how Candace made it with that and having Kirk as her brother. For that matter, didn't John Stamos luck out pretty well on this deal? The Olsen's of course won out the biggest. I still question how this show survived so long, but then I remember two words, Kimmy Gibler. Boy that Andrea Barber was hot; too bad she's married and planning to stay in school forever.

GROWING PAINS: Hey look... it's Family Ties again. Really. It was seriously like Family Ties in an alternate universe. Mike's female experiences were very much like Alex's. The sibling rivalry between Mike and Carol exactly like Alex and Mallory. The work issues between Jason and Maggie extremely similar to the ones between Steve and Elyse. They brought in Luke like Nick was brought in out of nowhere. Chrissy grew up as fast as Andy. The only thing different were some personalities slightly switched and flipped and the jobs were nowhere close as the same. Plots and situations were different as well. It was just another family with two working parents and three kids and a baby. It was a basic situation, new characters were added. The show had a special charm though. I mean I don't know what that charm exactly was. It had charm though. Maybe it was the fact that Joanna Kerns was just as hot and sexy as Meredith Baxter. Maybe it was Alan Thicke's Canadian charisma. The show probably would of been dead as well if Leo hadn't come along. Who knew that Ashley Johnson would grow up to be such a cutie though? I mean she was Annie! Annie! Who ever sees Annie and thinks, she's attractive? Yet, she is... anyway, for all the greatness that Growing Pains was or whatever, it got all destroyed with the Growing Pains movie which on many levels didn't work and was just incomprehensible and not the way I'm sure many people seeing the Seavers being 8 or 10 years later.

PERFECT STRANGERS:
A guy who slept with a stuffed sheep and his cousin Larry live in an apartment in Chicago. They do stuff, like working for one of the greatest characters in the history of television, Louie Twinkecetti played with the perfect amount of gruffness a warthog should have. It also gave the breath that gave the world Family Matters when out of nowhere Larry and Balki (that's the sheep guy, from Mepos, just off the coast of... somewhere) went from Twinkacetti's antique shop to getting jobs in the basement of the Chicago Tribune and we (the viewing audience) met Mrs. Winslow the elevator operator. Steven Q. Urkel burst into the scene in 1989, but he really didn't become a major factor until the 90's and therefore the only way I can discuss him is by mentioning him here. Who doesn't love Urkel? Those glasses, those suspenders, those catchphrases. Of course Balki Bartokimus would say that I was being ridiculous, he'd be "don't be ridiculous!" and I'd say "fuck you, Bronson Pinchot and the serge you walked in on".

PUNKY BREWSTER:
Between 1984-1989, Lt. Commander Eric Lassard went undercover as photographer Henry Warnimount. Being the idiot that Lassard was he would forget during this time that he wasn't really Henry and proceeded to adopt a girl with the weirdest fashion sense of all time. Who would know that this same girl would grow up to be one of the most naturally bosom blessed celebrities of all time? Back then she was just a girl with a dog who lived with a strange old guy who one day found a rainbow and gained a magical creature named Gomer as a best friend. Sometimes I wonder if the ingredient for Punky actually was Annie + Pippi Longstocking. It really did seem it, except Punky was really special; her best friend was black and just as poor. I never understood how they let Henry keep her, which is probably why they eventually didn't. Of course, unlike other characters from other shows who I know came out just fine, I worry that Punky became just another homeless kid on the street doing heroin and selling her body. That's just what would happen to the kid of a cop or a dirty old man.

SQUARE PEGS:
Quintessentially 80's it was like totally a different head, totally. It debuted in 1982 back when Sarah Jessica Broderick 'nee Parker was somehow actually cute and hadn't yet appeared in a film where the title was stolen from a Cyndi Lauper song (Girls Just Wanna Have Fun) and she starred alongside two other future divas of film and TV. Not like Goonies, which actually USED Cyndi Lauper. Goonies rules! Anyways, the show took place in a high school and focused on Sarah's character and her three best friends and their quarrels and adventures with the popular crowd. The show also starred that rich bitch Jami Gertz who would go on to play that bitch from Lost Boys and that rich bitch Less Than Zero. Finally it had live performances from The Waitresses (who also did the theme song), DEVO and John Densmore as a member of both Open 24 Hours and Open 48 Hours.